Today's Track : The Smiths - The Boy With a Thorn In His Side

Christmas is almost here and you know good spirits are in the air. The whole mood of the season is highly contagious. I wish the entire year was like this. Those scientists need to find a way to package up holiday cheer and good will towards your fellow man in a contagious virus like ebola. Without the bleeding orifices of course. Though the thought of people happily bleeding from their eyes would be quite surreal.

You know as a child, Christmas is a totally different experience than that of an adult. I think the one thing I miss most about the childhood experience is writing letters to Santa Clause and asking him for toys because I was such a good boy all year. Then waking up on Christmas morning and realizing that Santa Claus couldn’t read my writing and mistook “Optimus Prime” for “ugly winter jacket”. I suppose now that I’m older my writing has become a little more readable and concise. I think my letter would go something like this…

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a good man this year. I haven’t been thrown in jail, yet. I’ve drank in moderation the entire year except for my birthday but who doesn’t drink in excess on their birthday? I’m sure you knocked down quite a few egg nogs on your birthday. I’ve been good to my fellow man. The other day I helped my obese friend out by asking her if she’s pregnant. She doesn’t know it now but she’ll thank me later! Her boyfriend has already thanked me.

This year I don’t want too much but here’s a short list of items that I absolutely need…

1. A new computer. My current computer is as slow as mole asses and it keeps freezing up on me when I surf for porn.


2. A digital camera with video mode. My girlfriend and I are planning to make some home videos and take some “holiday” pictures.


3. A new snowboard because my current snowboard keeps injuring me.


4. Shoes. You can never have enough shoes.


5. The Optimus Prime that you never brought me as a kid.

I know you’ve got a lot of orders to fill this year but hopefully you’ll put mine on the top of your list because my family sure as hella won’t. By the way, “hella” is the new hip word for the young generation. It isn’t at all related “hell” which as you know is one hella bad word!

Oh…careful coming down the chimney this year. I think my dad is storing my pool cue there.

Say hi to foxy Mrs.Claus for me.

Sincerely,
Khiem